Skillet Bacon Spread

What the heck is that? Is that spreadable bacon? Bacon jam? Wait, we might need a moment to gather ourselves... Okay, we're good now. Yes, it's spreadable, delicious, mouth-watering, succulent, and savory bacon! And you must be asking yourself how this delicious hybrid of food came into existence. We didn't question it because it's just so amazing; but we knew that others would be extremely curious. Well, what happened was a huge vat of supremely delicious bacon got rendered down, a few spices were thrown in; were left simmering for six hours, then given a quick puree and blast chilled, then received a sprinkle of fairy dust and... Presto! Spreadable bacon has graced us with its presence. We don't think we've ever heard of anything more delectable. Spread it on a burger, a sandwich, or even your tongue. Go ahead, no one is looking.